Why It Sucks #4 (featuring Pitbull featuring Ke$ha)

I’m not sure how my two favorite artists could collaborate together and make a song that is such a surprising disappointment. Pitbull makes every song better! Hes what Lil’ Jon was five years ago, an artist who seems to only be able to feature on other tracks as a gimmick who never and is not known for his own music.

I’m not really sure who is supposed to be the artist in charge in this song (according to the listings, its Pitbull), but this song is an example of what is wrong with featuring artists. Collaborations are supposed to bring together the style of all the artists involved, or in some way add something to the song that it wouldn’t have without the other artists. This collaboration serves only one purpose.

The purpose of this collaboration is money.

The purpose of this song is money.

As I have said before, the purpose of mainstream music is exactly to make money, and as a society we as listeners need to evolve beyond simple to understand music if we want the overall quality of our content to increase.  Since I cannot argue with society because it is an entity and not a tangible thing, let me just tell you why this sucks.

The song starts off with the chorus. This is the current meta of pop-party music because it immediately teaches the listener the tune so they can sing along. This is taking advantage of you for being musically-retarded (I’m not making any accusations; it’s not your fault). As a musically retarded society, we get musical satisfaction out of recognizing songs, knowing the words, singing along, because as musically retarded people the only thing we actually understand about what we are hearing is the words. So the lyrics have to be easy to understand, repeated often, and there can’t be too many of them. To prove that this is true, listen to the song one time then tell me what did Pitbull say? I don’t know man, he was like rapping fast and saying so many things, it’s hard. The point is it doesn’t matter one bit what Pitbull actually says during the verses, because nobody will remember it. So the song starts off with the chorus, then Pitbull raps for a bit, which is non-consequential to us because we don’t know or care what he is saying, as long as he says it the way Pitbull would say it. Putting the chorus first removes the impact that it might have had if it was put in the correct place, after the first verse. Why have Pitbull rap at all if the chorus is the content and Pitbull is just filler in-between? He always plays this roll in songs he is featured on, and although he is just as terrible as everyone else who write music about partying only, his lyrics are pretty clever and funny at times. His style is more aggressive than most other rappers and if he expressed his feelings, or anything, in his music it could potentially be very interesting because of how laid-back rap and hip-hop typically are. Example: Eminem.

Pitbull, you poor, misunderstood bastard.

We have a typical 4 chord progression throughout, easy to understand and dance to, but where does this song think it is going (besides to the top of the charts)? Let’s take a look at the very first phrase, “its goin down.” This phrase is the only PAC (perfect authentic cadence) to be found, and it is in exactly the wrong place. PAC’s, for those who have not read my cadences post, are supposed to go at the end of a phrase, to bring resolution. It makes the phrase sound like it is over, it is the most basic music theory in practice. THE MOST BASIC MUSIC THEORY. This is music theory 101 if you are at a college, this is the first thing they teach you after scales and meter. This isn’t a matter of opinion, using PAC at the end of phrases makes music sound good.. This is completely disregarded. Of course as musically retarded people we don’t care or ever even notice.

The sampling in this song is also rather poor in this song in my opinion. The execution is ok, they sound good in the mix (they better, that producer gets paid to make this crap), but the choice of sounds takes away from the song. This song is about drinking, partying, having a good time, why is there a harmonica and an acoustic guitar in the back-track? It’s a gimmick, and it contrasts with the image they are aiming for in this song. The harmonica back track especially makes me thing of old western movies or the splash mountain ride in Disney world. The harmonica is playing in american-folk style while Ke$ha is singing about debauchery and blacking out, do you see what I mean?

And that is why, Timber, by Pitbull feat. Ke$ha, SUCKS.


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